Notice to guests

Alternative Routes

Blog posting #3

BriarpatchMagazine.com

by Shayna Stock, with photography by Dominique Fenton

One of the first things we noticed in the Belzers’ home was a small brightly-coloured sign that occupies a prominent place on their kitchen wall.

This sign (above) was our first clue that these people are experienced hosts. We learned later that, in addition to raising their own three children in this house, they have also played “mom and dad” to participants in various youth programs such as Katimavik, fellow Quaker travelers, children who needed a place to live for the summer, other random visitors like us, and now their own grandchildren.

The Belzers have hosted enough guests in their over 30 years at the old farm house to know exactly how to do it well, and how to do it simply.

We ended up here because the Belzers are planning a co-housing community (www.chaswoodcohousing.ca) on their property, and we wanted to learn more about their project.

We offered our labour in exchange for a few nights of accomodation and food, and they accepted our offer. We helped move farm machinery and run errands, kept the grandchildren occupied, and washed dishes. In return, in addition to room and board, we received a great deal of knowledge – not just about the initial stages of creating a co-housing community, but also about life and how to live it.

On our last morning in the house, Ed told me about something he learned from some previous guests. The lesson was, more or less, this: Receive graciously. People feel good when they help others. Rather than refusing that cup of tea, that free phone call, or that second helping of dinner because you don’t want to appear greedy or feel guilty, accept others’ offers with gratitude. You will feel better with that extra food in your belly, and they will be glad to have helped out a fellow human being.

This lesson is something I’ll carry with me throughout this journey. Dom and I are relying a lot on others offering their homes, their food, and their insight. We try to give them what we have in return – whether it be help around the house, some family photos, or just a listening ear – but often this doesn’t feel adequate.

It’s easy to feel guilty when we focus on how much we’re receiving. It’s important for us to remember the value of receiving graciously. Sometimes, genuine gratitude, and perhaps a strong belief in karma – that what goes around comes around – is all the compensation people require.

The night before we were to move on to other (perhaps greener, perhaps not) pastures, Dom and I are looking at the sign in the kitchen again. Reflecting on our stay here, we comment that there’s been absolutely nothing we’ve had to do without. In fact, we received a lot of life lessons from the Belzers – lessons that seem to be worth much more than the little help we gave in return.

We receive these lessons with as much gratitude, and as little guilt, as possible.

Shayna and Dominique are traveling across Canada in search of community, and sharing what they find with Briarpatch readers. Read their introduction to the project here.